But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
