Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
