Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
