Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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