Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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