You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
