Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
