i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
