Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is Oprah even human
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
