I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
