you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
