It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
