her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My penis needs a shock collar
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
