quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
