My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
