don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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