Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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