you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
