Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
