I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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