your thong is hanging out like whoa
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
