So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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