Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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