u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
