i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
