best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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