fuck your aforementioned shoe
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
