Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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