You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
