Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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