I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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