No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
