Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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