I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
