I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
