What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
