drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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