He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
