No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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