You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
