So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
