Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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