bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
