I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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