if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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