That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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