Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
