holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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