girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
