Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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