He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
