I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
