Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize