I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
