You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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