Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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(408): View more from California

I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.

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(914): View more from New York

Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it

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(406): View more from Montana

Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop

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(989): View more from Michigan

Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?

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(720): View more from Colorado

I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.

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