Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You are a genius and a whore.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
