Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
