Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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