just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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