So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
