How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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