Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
