YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
