She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize