i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
