i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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