benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
