Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
