I wish life had little blips of pornography
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
