My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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