if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
